I feel strange calling you diary. I mean, I nabbed you from a temple that was being mobbed by a hoard of fanatical dragon worshippers. You probably belonged to a priest or faithful patron. Maybe. Maybe you belonged to one of the dragon hoard. Although, what would a dragon-fanatic write in a journal? I love dragons. My dream to is be eaten by a dragon. I want to have freak dragon babies. Yeah, not likely.
I saw you just under a tree near the temple last night. I thought you were a book. I love books. While Neirun taught me to read, she never let me keep books. "Too much weight to carry!" she would yell at me. Snarl, really. Between the two of us - me, a half-orc, and her, the human - she really won the snarl competition. Spittle. Teeth. It's unpleasant.
Anyway, when you turned out to be a diary, an empty one at that, I decided to keep you. And write down things. I have a feeling I'm going to have a lot of interesting things to write down - if the last 48 hours were any indication. Maybe one day this will be a book.
But..I don't really want to call you diary. And journal sounds boring. Maybe record? A record of the great tales of Yevelda, the half-orc, half-dragon fighting, boss? That still sounds dumb and like I'm a wanna-be mythic hero. Maybe I'll name you. Like Bob? Or Mika? Or Gerry? I like Gerry. I like calling you Gerry because then it's like talking to someone, but that someone can't talk back. Which is nice. Most people/creatures don't really like talking to me. I lack what the wizard guy I'm travelling with calls "charisma." It means I don't interact well with people. Or orcs. Or elves. Or anyone, I guess. I'm okay with that. Mostly.
Anyway, I mentioned that the last 48 hours were interesting, and I meant it. I went from being duped into acting as a body-guard for a caravan of goods by some scrawny 16-year-old wizard who I could literally break into shish kebobs, to fighting a crazy half-dragon and almost dying.
It started when the town the caravan was travelling towards was being attacked by this giant blue dragon. I'd seen dragons from a distance before - my travels with the Mamet tribe had given me a few glimpses - but holy shit, seeing a dragon up close almost made me break water right where I stood.
After a long journey to the keep of Greenest and some fighting to maintain its security, we captured one of those insane dragon hoard mages. I flashed my muscles a bit to intimidate him, and Alvin - the previously mentioned, potential kebob (should things turn cannibalistic) and wizard - got some interesting information out of him. Apparently the group attacking Greenest were collecting look to usher in the reign of the dragon queen. And there's some evil dragon king named Tiamet? And then there's something about five masks that these creatures are seeking to usher in something apocalyptic and terrible.
Honestly, I got bored while Alvin was telling us everything the mage said. I kept staring at Joon. Joon is like the most fascinating creature I've come across in all of my travels. She/he (I haven't asked, but I'll go with girl so I don't feel like the only female in this party) is like a half-mermaid, half-human wonder. She's pretty quiet, but I can tell she's got a lot going on in her head. Or gills? She seems to miss the water because she flopped around in a crappy creek for a while as we headed towards the keep. I wonder why she's all the way out here. Maybe I'll ask. I have a few more questions for her as well - mostly ones I should ask about when we're much better friends - I think she might get weirded out if I asked about the mechanics of her sex life and we've only known each other for two days - this is probably one of those charisma things Alvin has mentioned.
Anyway, after getting info out of the wimpy mage, Governor Knighthill asked us to go save some people from a temple. I mean, sure, why not right? We've only already rescued like twenty people and have had zero sleep, but okay, man, let me go solve your problems. (Sorry, Gerry, Neirun always said I was too sassy for my own good). Anyway, I went along like a good sport, and it really, it went pretty well. There was some crazy mob trying to break down the doors and some wackadoodles trying to set it on fire. I killed most of those fire guys with Joon and Diddly's help, and we ended up getting the people out of the temple while Alvin distracted the mob with this crazy knight illusion he named Sir Leslie. (Alvin's tendency to name his illusions makes me feel better about naming you Gerry).
We got back to the keep with the townspeople, and wouldn't you know it, they needed our help again. This blue half-dragon, Langdedrosa Cyanwrath (Alvin helped me spell it), came up to the keep and asked for a challenger to fight. This half-dragon had a family with him, one of the guard's sisters, and he threatened to kill them if no one met his challenge. When I saw that family - the woman with her head down, on her knees, but quietly struggling against her restraints - she just looked so much like Neirun that I had to do something. So I did, I stepped up and took the challenge.
In retrospect, this was not the smartest idea I've ever had. I'm smart for a half-orc, barbarian-kinda gal, but sometimes that lust for blood overwhelms my other faculties and I make less-than-desirable decisions.
Okay, I'll be honest with you Gerry, I thought I could take this guy. I mean, yes, he's a half dragon, and I've been on the road and solo for less than a year, but I thought some noble-holier-purpose would help me overcome him.
Yeah, I need to leave the holier-stuff to the clerics and paladins.
Because, I'm not going to lie, I got my ass whooped. I mean, in like less than five seconds, Cyanwhatever-his-name-is had me down on my back. And not in a good way. In a very murdery way. Luckily, I got back up and got in one really good strike, but then he just knocked me out and the next thing I know, Diddly's healing me up and Cyan had said sayonara.
I took a long nap after that one.
When I'd rested up, we gathered together and met this dude named Nessum. His nephew is a dragon cult expert and either is a prisoner or infiltrated the raiders. Nessum gave us some choker to use to identify him and we set off to find him. Now, I'm not quite sure why I'm still with this group searching for some dragon-cult nephew. I mean, if you're going to become a dragon-cult expert, you've definitely got some screws loose and rattling around. Am I really going to spend my time looking for this nut job? I guess I'm sticking with them out of comraderie. I mean, like I said, Joon is a fascinating creature that I'm maybe going to keep stalking the rest of my life. And Alvin is okay. He did trick me into this originally using one of his illusion tricks, which was pretty jerk-like, but his illusions are interesting, and I like his bird, Rocket. And with how scrawny he is, I'm betting he needs me around for a while. Or he really will be a shish kabob.
The jury is still out on Kobb and Diddly. I thought I overheard them saying something racist about halflings - which I didn't get because Kobb is a halfling - but hopefully I'm wrong.
I guess I'm also sticking with them because it seems like there's some impending dragon apocalypse that will destroy all of Faerun. That's a pretty good reason to stick around. I guess.
Anyway, we traveled for a while until Rocket spied a group of kobolds, so we decided to murder them.
Naturally.
The kobolds were eating some chicken when Alvin blinded them. I ran up and chopped up one while Diddly went to the other side and shot the spleen out of a cultist. Joon collected another kobold head (where is she going to keep all of them?!) and we caught one of the cultist who was running away.
We decided to interrogate him. Diddly told me to play to my strengths, which is strength, so I just told the cult-man "I'm going to pound you in the face," and that got him talking really fast. Apparently there is some camp a couple of miles south in some plateaus. There's like a couple hundred in the camp and there's a few leaders - Resmere? Langdedrosa? (pretty sure this is the guy who beat my face in) and Frulan Mondanth?
Anyway, they might have a dragon mask, so I guess we're headed there next. I hope I can nap first though. Chopping kobold faces always makes me sleepy.
Thanks for being here, Gerry. I think I'm going to enjoy writing this.
