Dear Gerry,
It's me again. I'm sorry I got some blood on you. It's just a few speckles, though, so you're still worth writing in. Although, it's not nearly as much blood as I wanted it to be, let me tell you.
Argh. I'm still frustrated after our last skirmish. I can't believe I miss so many of my shots - it's almost like someone is rolling dice to determine if I hit my mark or not; like my success in battle is totally up to chance. Ridiculous.
Anyway, I should start at the beginning, or at least where I left off last time. So, after interrogating the last remaining kobold - I think Joon killed him and added his head to her collection (which, by the way, has to be getting heavy; she must have like seven heads!) - Alvin declared himself our leader and started talking strategy with us. Man, that kid is bold. I mean he's as skinny as a wraith and I'm pretty sure I've eaten things his same size, but he commands pretty fearlessly. I'm curious how he got this way. Neirun taught me to be confident in battle, but she never cared much for social situations, so even in our tribe, even though her role as one of the three chiefs was respected, we were often outcasts. I don't think Neirun ever expected me to be a leader, but somebody must have taught Alvin how to command from day one.
Also, his bird is pretty cool.
Racket, I mean, not Rocket, which makes so much more sense because I know what racket means, but I don't know what the hell a rocket is.
Racket actually proved quite useful this time around. While Cobb, Diddly, Joon, and I sat around eating some chicken left over from the kobolds, Alvin went into some funky trance and sent Racket off to spy on the camp of the dragon-wannabe-baby-mamas. The camp is pretty big, and there was an ambush set for people travelling down the road towards it, so it was a good thing Racket checked it out.
We decided to deal with the ambush first, and then make a strategy for the camp.
There were bad guys on either side of the road, so we split up - Alvin was to come down the road and make a distraction with some of his illusion tricks; I was paired with Cobb on the left; and Joon and Diddly were on the right. I was pretty jealous that Diddly got to go with Joon. I mean, it makes sense to split up us two head-choppers, but Joon is so cool. And it seems like she gets along with Diddly really well, which makes me jealous. I want Joon to be my friend. And Diddly is too charming. He plays the lute really well too. Neirun tried to teach me to play lute for years, and I can only manage out a few drinking songs without breaking a string. Plus, Diddly smells pretty good. I'm extra jealous of that. I know most half-orcs don't really care about their smell, but after the kids in the tribe made fun of me for smelling weird growing up, I'm pretty self-conscious about it. And Diddly just smells so good, I'll be that Joon is already in love with him. But, maybe that can change. Maybe I can sneak some dung into his bag and Joon will think he smells and not want to hang out with him any more. Yes! I'll call it operation Did-ya-smell-that-ly! (Pretty clever, huh? Using his name like that? I told you I'm intelligent for a half-orc).
Okay, I'll let you know how that goes, but back to the story.
So, Cobb and I approached to the right, and surprise-surprise (!!!!) I did NOT give away our position! Being stealthy is not exactly my best trait, but this time, I ROCKED it! Cobb is always sneaky, of course. Half the time, I barely know where he is. But, I guess being that small would make it easier. Regardless, both Cobb and I (!!!) successfully sneaked up to the bad would-be-dragon-lovers on the hill. Then, right as Alvin set up his illusion - this time an old guy with a donkey pulling a cart - we attacked!
Cobb got a few really good shots in. I was pretty impressed. I haven't interacted with him a lot, other than a few awkward attempts at conversation, but then again, how many of my conversations are not awkward? I feel like everyone is deducting points from me whenever I open my mouth. It's depressing.
Anyway, Cobb is a really effective fighter. He pretty much took out one guy, and I helped a little - ranged attacks are not my strongest suit. I do much better face-to-face. And it seemed like Joon and Diddly were doing a depressingly good job working together (Maybe I'll put a rotten rabbit in Diddly's bag, maybe it would smell worse than the dung - maybe both?). So, Cobb and I decided to move up.
This is when I was going to make my move. I was going to run up and jump off the hill and on to the boulder where the dragon-captain was standing, and knock him over in the process. It was going to be amazing - jump through the air, impressing everyone with my athletic ability, land directly on the commander, knocking him over, and then stabby-stabby, commander is dead and Yeve is the hero and super cool even if she does smell a little funny.
But no.
It didn't work out that way.
Instead, I lost my footing right as I jumped off the cliff, and I landed next to the stupid commander guy, almost falling off the damn boulder myself.
Ugh.
How embarrassing.
My only redemption is that I think Joon was too busy to notice. Or at least I hope so.
What's worse is that I didn't even get to finish off the stupid commander! Diddly mumbled some crazy magical mumbo-jumbo in his ears, and commander-man just keeled over! Of course, remembering this does make me rethink my Did-ya-not-smell-so-good plan, as I don't think I want Diddly mumbling anything sinister in my ear.
Anyway, while we were killing people, one of the dragon-humpers got away. Alvin sent Racket off to peck out the dude's eyes, which apparently he was successful at. We hid most of the bodies, but the camp was alerted because of that run-away's eyeless body was next to the camp, so we had to get off the road fast and hide in order to take a rest. We did grab some cloaks from the dragon people, and that should help with our infiltration of the camp, so that was useful. Joon got some sweet armor that I got to help her put on (!!!).
So, now we're resting, and getting ready for our next big step.
As we're laying here though, and I'm scratching all this down, I have moments where I wonder what I'm doing here. I mean, I mentioned last time the impending apocalyptic dragon-mask killing the world, ushering in dragon-doom, but still, I mean, didn't I just fall into this because some skinny wizard tricked me into being a body guard?
When I held Neirun while she died, after those bastards killed her, she told me not to waste my life. I wonder - would she think this was a waste?
I've actually been thinking back to that night a lot. That night she died. It's such a blur. The alarm from the watchmen. Neirun whipping our tent flap open to see what was going on. Packing our small bags in such a hurry. But, it was already too late. They grabbed us. They didn't know what to make of me - a lone half-orc, in the middle of a nomadic tribe of half-elves and humans - so maybe that's why they put me to the side, to be dealt with later. Then, they gathered the leaders, and of course, Neirun with her ridiculous pride, would never deny her leadership in the tribe she helped to create, despite the rejection she'd faced after adopting me. "Yes," she'd said, "I am one of the chiefs." Why didn't she just lie? And why didn't she just tell them where we kept our treasures? Was it so wrong to betray the tribal secrets if it would have saved her life?
But she didn't. And they'd killed her.
That was the first time I entered a battle rage. I don't remember how many of them I killed. I only remember holding her. And watching her die.
But, now that I'm sitting here, I'm maybe starting to remember other things. Like their cloaks. They look kind of similar to the ones we stole today. And that symbol the commander was wearing on his armor. It looks a little familiar.
Perhaps...
But wait, I have to go. It's time to discuss strategy.
Next time, Gerry.
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